Stay-at-home mom: 10 tips for coping

Those who choose to take care of their children full time know that there is no more difficult social position to assume. Here are 10 tips for holding on despite the questioning looks and fully assuming your role as a stay-at-home mom! According to some studies, working mothers are healthier than those who have chosen to stay at home. Some moms, like Marie, from the blog “ Les Mamans testent ” even openly display their difficulties in coping . Stopping working, often judged as an easy solution, is it on the way to becoming an exploit? Here are some tips for those who have decided to devote their time to children. 1/ Stay-at-home mom: make your decision a real project No question of giving up a job, a salary, colleagues to devote yourself to a family without having thought about the short, medium and long term. Some will opt for a period of a few years in the form of parental leave , others more. It doesn't matter, as long as things are clear in your mind from the start . This will prevent you from feeling dragged down and then ultimately trapped. 2/ Mother at home: dare to announce the color To family, friends, the nursery or the town hall, do not stammer when stating your new status and above all stop justifying yourself! " I am a stay-at-home mom " or " I have decided to take care of the children full time " are valid answers! Even if it must be recognized that the term " inactive " still used by administrations and polling institutes does not help to get angry... 3/ Stay-at-home mom: stay independent Stay-at-home moms obviously can't claim to earn as much or more than their spouses. It prevents. There are laws and contracts that protect you from precariousness in the event of separation. And ways to put your professional life on hold without closing all the doors . Find out about possible training (improvement, specialization, etc.) if you plan to return to professional life in the short or medium term. Keep in touch with your former colleagues. Stay informed in your area of ​​expertise by reading during naps! closevolume_off 4/ Stay-at-home mom: network The MAFs (mothers at home) or FAFs (housewives) organize themselves on the web and in associations: they discuss, meet, advise each other, just like colleagues around the coffee machine. For the record, the Faef (national union of working and housewives) organizes meetings once a month and fights for the recognition of a status for stay-at-home mothers and access to a salary, a pension, social security. ... You should also know that according to surveys, it is often isolation and the lack of contact with adults that depress stay-at-home moms. 5/ Stay-at-home mom: set your own pace Children (especially young children) quickly monopolize an almost empty schedule . It's up to you to fill it out to avoid following the wishes of a little 18-month-old all week long (and finding yourself in your pajamas at 10 a.m. on the activity mat)! Shopping in the place you love, cultural outings, visits with friends or family, walks: do not deny yourself anything! Your toddlers will follow with joy and you will not lose your interests. 6/ Stay-at-home mom: avoid “professionalizing” The stay-at-home mom isn't supposed to know 25 nursery rhymes , invent brioche recipes, or teach two-year-olds to read. She even has the right to do nothing of all this and to be a mother like the others who relies on the midwife, the nursery nurse, the mistress, the pediatrician and the child psychologist to raise her children. A book by Stéphanie Allénou entitled " Exhausted Mother " can be of great help to you in the event of an imminent burn-out . 7/ Stay-at-home mom: distinguish between full-time mom and housekeeper In fact, you don't have to spend 3 hours a day tidying up, vacuuming and ironing . When you were in the office all week, one big cleaning per week and a good dose of accountability for each family member was enough, so why change the method? In the event of a crack and if your means allow it, do not refuse the help of a cleaning lady either . 8/ Stay-at-home mom: keep some free time To avoid feeling always free and therefore ultimately never really, arrange moments just for you every week , moments without crying, lost comforter, compote on the sweater and stairs to watch. A movie date, a gym class, a girls' night out: these are your important, uncancellable meetings. To achieve this, allow yourself a nanny, a babysitter or a part-time place in daycare once or twice a week! And ask the dad on the weekend! 9/ Mother at home: make a pact with her spouse Before making the decision but also after, do not stay alone with your doubts and your feelings. A stay-at-home mom is not a solo mom but a business owner ! The father, even if he works full time, can also find his place in the management committee... As for the question of money, clarify the situation immediately. And get rid of it once and for all. Your duo works because each fulfills a role. The money earned belongs to the household. 10/ Stay-at-home mom: remember the advantages of the situation When you feel left out of discussions about corporate life, whether you're eyeing a girlfriend's trendy outfit or her vacation on the other side of the world, list all the inconveniences you avoided by leaving your old status . A few leads: childcare costs, running in the morning and evening to drop off the children, meals on the go, lack of sleep, the hassle when a little one is sick, the stress of work... And at the Conversely, make a list of everything you have won : seeing your children grow up and enjoying every moment, cooking fresh produce, taking the time to prepare for holidays and parties, participating in the life of your neighborhood... And you, what do you think of the life of a stay-at-home mom? Easy, complicated, unbearable? What is your advice for those who want to make this choice?